Welcome all, so first of all , despite the title. Its not disrespect to my mom (or my dad). I just grew up sheltered, and many important social life lessons, I unfortunately had to learn through very bizarre social encounters. This is just a sampling of the stories that drive the novel I’m working on. Somewhat autobiographical, and mostly fiction. These stories are flashbacks interwoven with the protagonist’s adventures traipsing life.
Without Further Adieu, We begin.
Why not to lie to your older child.
When my mother was pregnant with me, she convinced my big brother I was going to be a baby brother. They would talk about how much fun he would have with baby brother, and they picked out various names “Shaun” “Adam” and “Joe” as in GI Joe, made the cut. Now, that’s fine, if she knew she was having a boy, or if she didn’t know what she was having. BUT SHE KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE A GIRL.
9 months later- crying wheezing and chubby choo choo cute moi was born. And my identity was masked. They may as well have named me androgynously “Kennedy” or “Madison”. They called me “baby” that’s right, everyone put baby in a corner. And continually. Yellow jumpers, and white, and lots of ambiguous patterns and onesies kept my true identity concealed from my then 5 year old brother…..until that one day.
BB (big brother) asked mom why she was putting his baby brother in a lace romper. She smiled and said “because she’s your baby sister” . Screaming “liar” little 5 year old BB ran screaming around the house, feeling wronged by the fates for this tragic end to his 6 month belief he would have a buddy to play Voltron with. It took two months for him to come to terms with this fiasco. He had more of an identity crisis than I should have. But it led to the dynamic you’ll see played out between us continually. I never got the “protective older brother” treatment from BB. In fact, more often than not, his refusal to accept me as a girl, led to toughening me up. So much so that I found myself an unlikely mix of “one of the boys” and “prissy girly girl”
I’m at Nora’s pool. Its gorgeous and everyone is about to hop in. As I gingerly place a perfectly pedicured toe into the water, Jeff rushes behind me and pushes me in. that wasn’t smart Jeff, I don’t like being thrown into water, know why? Because when I was three BB wanted to “teach me about density” and threw me into the bathtub. That’s how I learned to hold my breath. Its two minutes later, and he’s staring at me as I tell him quite frankly I do not appreciate his bum rushing me like a frat boy. But baby he protests, I was just playing. But baby I mock him, its rude, and now I will have to get another blow-dry. he comes to hug me, and I jump up, grab his head and hold it underwater. Pulling him out , I kiss him, and proclaim, don’t get mad baby I was just playing.
How I learned about water density
C’mon Nina, BB proclaimed, you can help me with my science project. At three years old, I was hardly capable of reciting the alphabet, let alone contemplating what water density was. BB gave me the task of constructing little boats out of alumni foil.
“tug boat!” I cooed, holding in my chubby fingers a tee pee type tug boat fashioned out of Reynold’s wrap. We ran the bath tub, my brother the mad scientist, and I , his naïve little accomplice. He lined up with approval my series of aluminum foil boats. And put little rubber toy soldiers in some and not in others.
“why do that bb” I ask, little toddler eyes full of wonder. He tells me its because I will learn that some things float n water and other don’t. “But why?” I ask. And he tells me about the properties of density. I know now, that in the history of the world, save some child prodigies located somewhere in obscure locations, I am the only 3 year old child who could explain the scientific properties of density.
He shows me that the empty boats float, the filled boats don’t, they sink.
“what about me?” I say
“lets find out” he says, and picks me up, and dunks me in the water. In my flannel my little pony pajamas and all..
I scream and cry and he says, “see your particles are denser than the H20, so you would sink”
Do not throw me in the water Jeff.
